8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.

Father, I can see that sometimes You let me endure horrible things, so we learn to only depend on You.  Why am I such a slow learner?  Though my trials have not been so bad, I still can see that I try to fix all the problems myself until I have utterly failed, and then You take care of it.  I worry, and cry, and even fall into sin when all I am supposed to do is wait on You.  Father, when will I learn?  When will I be pure of heart, seek only You and depend only on You?  Must it wait till heaven?  Change me Father, change me.  *2Corinthians1*